♥My World
hihi, thanks for dropping by.. here are the little little bits that form me.. :D

Name: Manman<3 ♥ ♥ ♥ God's Little Girl, Bb, Dance, Love, W16, Paint, Food, Sleep

My little creations

My Multiply

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nonsense.

CG-members

Kel-Bb

Jennifer

Pui Pui

Kai Li

Jacky

Kristine

Charmaine

Isabel

Verlin

Hui Wen

Isabel

Xiao Ping

Xi Hui

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DeSong

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Ber

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Chewie

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Jason

Rubez

Ray

Regina (SP POS)

Sing yee

Phileo

Rong Ping

Darryl

Evangeline/Shi Min

Shu Hui/Sunshine

Michelle

Poly-Friends

Kathleen

Shuen

Joan

Wei Liang

Zhen Ken

Sec-Sch-Friends

Zhi Ai

Christopher Goh

Others

Kiyoko

Liu Jing Jing

Po

Mabel

Jeannie

Hui Yu

Rou Hui

Eleanore

Joanne

Stephanie

Eunice

Ariel

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September 2009

One year pass by so fast, another year has passed! To be honest, this year I don’t know what I should get for my dearest Bb.

It was ages ago since I last attended overnight prayer meeting.

When I was still a teenager, I can survive without sleep for more than 3 days. But right now, I need to have beauty sleep every night. So going overnight prayer meeting is really a huge stepping block for me.

The prayer meeting starts from 11pm to 3am. We reached the meeting at 12plus and the rest has already started praying.

Throughout the few hours, many times I was feeling very sleepy. Oooo… I wish I can have access to the bed right now..

But strangely, after my normal sleeping hours (ie. 1am) I felt much more awake.

Despite of the dozing off, I was very blessed by the prayer meeting. It’s been a long time since I last tarry in God’s presence till so late in the night.

After the prayer meeting, I felt such sense of accomplishment. Although I felt so tired, but I felt so clean, so peaceful and so happy. I want to go attend another overnight prayer meeting soonest!

I forgot to thank God during CG testimony. Today Ryan offered to send Jen and I back to woodlands to have CG. On the way there, we almost met an accident on the expressway.

We were at the last lane, Jen was sitting in front and I was right behind her. According to Ryan, he saw a whole stretch of car stopped suddenly right in front of him. Although he always kept a reasonable distance with the car in front, this time the space in between is not enough to keep us safe.

I saw Ryan tried to stop his car, but the car still continue to move. If Ryan continue to stay on the lane, he will sure bang on the car in front. But at the very last mini second, he turn into the lane on the left. Usually I will put on the seat belt everytime I board the car (not just Ryan's car, but other cars too. It's for safety reason and is not because of the driver.. *Grin*) but I forgot to put on sit belt today.

When Ryan stepped onto the brakes, I literally flew towards Jen and I end up hugging the front seat.

Thank God there was no car at the next lane. If not the incoming car will sure hit Jen and I.

Everything happened within 5 secs. It was so fast and scary at the same time.

After that Ryan told us that he was so stressed just now cause he need to look at so many things at the same time, ie, the car in front, his car, his safety and Jen and my safety.. phew..

Thank God that we made it through..

To sort of celebrate our safety + calm nerves + fill the hungry stomach, we have dinner together at the coffeeshop below my block. hee.. Ryan tried the 'legendary' laksa + teh peng.. he said it's not really super fantastic. Jen and I shared the Chicken Chop.. Yum Yum~~~~~

After dinner.. we go for CG.. :P

What an exciting day~

I got a little confession to make. I just realized that my gym session was not very effective.

Erm, I lost 0.1kg, my muscle mass decrease from 39kg to 36 something kg and my fats increase from 13kg to 15kg.

My first reaction was, ‘are you kidding me? The machine must have spoilt. I feel much slimmer and lighter now, how can my fats increase??!?!’

Anyway I just received a call from California, they say they have a new machine that is able to let me know what is my body age. The new machine is also able to analyze what’s my weak point and I can train on my weak points first to make my training for effective.

Today I met molly for ‘supper’ at Causeway mac. We discussed about Pik Wei’s wedding invitation card. If need to get private company to print specially for the occasion, think it will cost a few hundred dollars. So Molly proposing to Pik Wei see whether can we buy readymade or see whether the restaurant is able to provide them with invitation cards.

Anyway Molly also told me about her course. I told her that I failed my strategy and till now I am still feeling unjustified and unhappy about it. she encourage me to re-appeal my module. Maybe I should try to get some big email addresses tomorrow. (since I have nothing to lose anyway.. just try..)

*cross fingers* hope that my re-appeal will get through this time.. :)

I was so excited to know that my future house progress was good. They are wrapping up the foundation works already..

Yeah.. now looking forward for the first floor to be up.. :P

Should I go SOT?

If I go SOT, I might need to give up my bonus.. which is a lot of money.

If I take part time, am I able to cope? Am I able to sustain myself?

What will my parents react if they found out?

If I don’t work or couldn’t find a job, I would need to deplete my savings.. but I’m supposed to save up for future.. how?

But if I don’t go SOT, I feel so weak. Not physically weak, but spiritually weak. I want to understand more of God’s word. I want to get trained for the better.. it will benefit me and the people around me.. and I believe the skills that I learn in SOT will also help me in my future career as I have learnt how to speak better with other pple.

How, How?!?!

Today at work I met one customer at their office. I reached their office at around 2:40pm. The appointment is supposed to be 2.30pm. I was late!

Their office has many floors, the floor that I went to does not have reception desk. And the access was only by security pass. I called the person’s mobile, I couldn’t get through. I was stuck at the lift lobby. After a few calls, decided to go to the reception upstairs. The reception could not get through him too.

After that, I went back to the original floor and called my colleague. Colleague told me that the customer has called our office and he is not happy that I’m late. In fact, he’s really really angry about it.

Oh man, I start to get worried. I need to get into the meeting room soon.

Just happened that there is one guy coming out from the office, I walked into their office. I spoke to more than 5 people inside, no one knows the person that I’m going to meet and they have no idea where their meeting room is. I was shocked.

Anyway, I walked one big round in their office, no one bothered about me. After that I managed to find the meeting room and there are 3 people sitting in the meeting room, the atmosphere was tense.

The first sentence I received from customer is, ‘am I meeting you at 2.30pm or 3pm??!’

Oh man, this is difficult. I told him I reached the office for quite some time and I couldn’t get through his phone. I went to the reception; they could not get through his phone either. After a while, another person from the meeting room also added that he couldn’t contact him at all. There was 10 seconds of awkward silence.

Anyway, to the main discussion, I gave them some figures for his review. He asked me to show him exactly how to calculate. Oh man, how to calculate this six digit figure when the main person who calculated this was not me?! Thank God I brought my calculator with me. I was being thrown with many charts and figures that customer has tabulated. Based on the information from their end, they could not get the figure that I have given them and they want to know how my side derived with the final figure.

I tried to stay calm but my heart start to worry. I called my colleague and see whether my colleague can help me on this but the help wasn’t much. I repeated the calculation more than 10times and I could not get the information right.

Towards the end of the meeting, I finally got a figure that is close to the one given by my colleague. Finally I feel the atmosphere was not so tense anymore. I assured customer that I will give him detailed information to him after I get back office. The meeting lasted about 50mins.

Just before I leave the meeting room, the customer commented that he was not aware that his phone was not functioning properly just now and he apologized for keeping me waiting outside their office for so long just now! I felt relief, humbled and happy at the same time. Finally I saw his face with a smile and offered to exchange name card with me. (Just now when I was in the meeting room, the atmosphere was so tense and I don’t dare to delay the discussion by exchanging the name card)

After the meeting, the customer escort me to the door and gave me a smile again as I walked through the door. When I go downstairs, I looked at his name card again; I realized that he’s one of the very important people in the company.

Through this meeting, I know that for these past two years, I have grown. I know that if I attend such meeting two years ago, I will most probably felt so stressed about it and might just broke down into tears. I thank God that I am able to handle this and went through the rest of the meeting smoothly. I think if it’s not because of the phone issue, the meeting will not end up happy cause I was actually late for 10mins.

It’s been a long time since I shared offering message in CG again.

I spent Thursday to prepare the message on Gen 26:1. Everything seems okay. But wait till Friday before CG start, I start to feel panicky.

I told myself I got to be bold; I got to say with conviction. But during the actual, I think I screw up all the way. I don’t like that defeated feeling.

I feel myself so not competent. I am willing to do more things for God. But with my current skills and abilities, how am I able to lead a CG?

Don’t know whether should I go SOT or not.. thinking thinking..

Why squirrel lied to me? Am I not the one being its friend, shared food from the same table, enjoyed many joyous moments together? I have given Squirrel many chances to tell me, even see whether it want to invite me to go and play in the forest. Squirrel wants to return to forest can just let me know. It is big enough to go ahead and no need anyone’s protection. If squirrel feels that going back to forest is nothing wrong, why it need to hide from me? Am I not its friend anymore?

Oh man, I know this thing will look so small when I look back in future. But now, this thing is a BIG issue for me.

Jen and I took on operation role for the next 2 months (hopefully is either 2 months or less). Last few days been going to various training sessions. I learnt a lot of things about SAP operation. Description: tedious and a lot of steps

One tenant account opening would need at least 30mins for me to key in all the info. Imagine if a building has few hundred tenants, how long would it take?

Today I wanted to finish account opening for one building, total 9 tenants. Till 7.30pm, I only managed to do 2. Because when I do half way, many people, both internal and external ask me do a lot of things. Tenant wants account opening/termination by today. So need to arrange for the asap date. Got one tenant even scolded me for it. Funny thing is one landlord even don’t know our known-for-long-time procedures!

Then today Jen on MC, then I need to cover for her. I’m okie with that. But internal staff keep ask me do her things which is not so urgent. On my hands I already have TONS of things to do. Some people sent an email already then walk over, saying things like, ‘oh just want to walk over and let you know verbally that it’s a lot of things to do.’ When I say she’s not around, then they roll eyes. Do I need to see your attitude?

Then got one obviously not very urgent cause the other party sure takes long time. The person sort of forces me to send the email over to the other party to take action. Reason being it will affect the billing for the whole building.

How could I finish my stuff when the whole world keeps chasing me for things?!?!?!?

Landlord also calls me and asks me for updates. I have no time to call for en-bloc at all, so now I need to pacify him. I sort of got a scolding from him and chase me die die I must give him an update by tomorrow.

I was feeling so overwhelmed by all the work that’s on my table. It’s been weeks since I last saw a nice, clean table. Feeling so demoralized, feeling so stressed, feeling like throwing in the towel. Feel like just throw everything on the table, take my bag and leave.

I know in my heart that with time, I can do operation things faster. But now, I was feeling quite stress out. My progress is much slower than what I expected. Things are piling up.

I finally broke down during lunch time. I have no appetite to eat at all, so many things to do. Decided to skip lunch and try to do operation issues. E walked over asks me whether I am okay and whether do I want to go for lunch. All the suppressed unhappiness all come up at the same time, I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears start to ooze out from my eyes. I throw my headset and ran to the toilet. I know E they all are very shocked to see me like this. I was shocked myself too. I washed my face, after a while I go back, they are still there. E said DGM will talk to me later.

Anyway after lunch, E bring me go staff lounge to talk to me. I cried again. I told her there are too many things for me to do. I told her although she said we can ask KAM to help out when things get overloaded, but how to ask boss to help you clear your stuff? I told her I find it’s difficult for me to do so. I sort of complained about D that he sometimes will pass LL staff to me.

After that E told D about it. D of course walked over. First time he look at me and really look concerned. Nvm lah. Think he still need time to learn.

Anyway, I worked till 7.30pm, DGM spoke to me. she said they are arranging for replacement asap. Trying to see whether temp is able to help. But they would need sometime to pick up.

Hai~ anyway, I keep trying my very best to encourage myself. Not sure whether this self encouragement can last for how long…

Not sure whether I want to get the education grant. I calculated, the total school fees paid is about $13,000. Then earlier I have already spent my flexible benefit to claim school fees.

So effectively, I am only able to claim $11,000 should the grant approve. Is it worth it to bond myself for 2 years just for $11,000?

hmmm.. think I don't wanna get the claim liao lah.. give myself some flexibility.. :P

What will the future be? Suddenly felt that human are really so full of flaws. So many mistakes, so many things that we could do better, so many of us are so fixed to our old ways and keep on doing it. Why we can’t just learn from mistakes and move on? Why people would keep doing something that is so unbalanced? Why people would still keep on repeating the same mistakes and act as if nothing has happened? Why people can learn to be so fake? I wonder who taught us to be so.

Why it is so difficult to change? When would things get better?
I feel so irritated. I want to change. Fast.

These few days been not feeling well. Felt like puking and headache. Not sure what’s wrong with me. Went to the doctor yesterday but the medicine has no effect on me. It’s not a full blown sickness, and I don’t like this feeling. Help~!

Morning Bb went service together with me. We had lunch at Subway. After that, we went to his house to put down his stuff before we head out again.

We wanted to take a look at the bridal packages. We have no intention to buy at all. We just want to see and compare which package is good.

We went to marina square. As promised by Bb, he treat me watch Ice Age 3. Hooray!~ after that, we walked over to the portion that has some bridal shops.

The first shop we went is Golden Horse Awards. I don’t like that sales staff, she keep talking nonsense staff which I am not interested at all. She said things like what are they going to have, what other customers did, etc. we asked her whether does she have any AD packages, she was not helpful at all and she said the only option we have is ala-carte.

We left shortly after of course. When we are out of the shop for less than 10 secs, another guy from neighboring shop approached us. That guy and the sales staff inside the shop keep commenting Bb have very young face (sound like I have old face and they don’t dare to say anything.. bleah)

We were at the shop for more than 3 hours, the sales staff tried his best to psycho us to buy the packages. He gave a lot of freebies and additional services. After that, I tried on the gown for fun. When I first walked out, I felt so nervous cause everyone was staring at me. Bb said the shop was very noisy at first, when I walked out; all of them went silent and looked at me. *blush*

The second time I tried, the attention was not so great cause two other brides-to-me are also outside showing off their gown to their friends and family.

Anyway, we bought the package. Bb saw on online forum, the service provided by this bridal shop was good so far.

After that, we went to watch Ice Age 3 (3D). I love the movie! However the 3D effects are not a lot though.

Owww.. I’m sick. I missed service today. Sian. Feeling feverish, tired, muscle ache, flu.

Oh God, I want healing soon~~~

Today is our 2 year and 3rd month anniversary. I want to get something nice for Bb as anniversary present.

During lunch time, I went to Robinsons and Centrepoint to see whether I can find anything that Bb can use. I bought 1 bottle of Vitamin C, 2 boxes of briefs. I wrapped separately into 3 items.

Recently Bb has been super busy with his work. He needs to stay back for OT almost every single day. So I decided to drop by his workplace to pass him these 3 surprises and hope that I can cheer him up despite of the pile of work he has to do.

However, he said he’s free to meet me. So I decided to pass him the surprises when I about to head for home.

We went to Tampines 1 Kim Gary eat. Among so many HK style restaurants in Singapore, I find that Kim Gary has the best Hong Kong taste.

After dinner, Bb spotted the bag that I was holding. He wanted to look at it and I told him it’s a secret and he was not allowed to see. As usual, this aroused his curiosity. Many times he almost snatched it away from me!

After a while, he grew tired of it and said we not supposed to have secrets between us. I felt so guilty and I decided to pass him the bag way before my planned time.

Bb sends me home today. On the bus, he has his gift opening ceremony. It’s so fun to see Bb so excited about the present. When Bb saw the briefs, he got so excited and raised the box up and wanted to let everyone on the bus to share his joy. I think he has the guts to do it because we sat at the last row of the bus. bleah. No one will see it anyway. But he’s so cute!!!

We have to complete a 3000words assignment by today! Oh man~~ how to finish everything within one day?

Bb borrowed laptop from his brother. Bb concentrated to do his learning journal while I concentrated to do the main assignment. Thank God Bb managed to find another friend to give him some pointers for the main assignment, if not I sure couldn’t finish.

We worked the whole day till 3am, I went to sleep. Then Bb worked till 6.30am and just in time to wake me up to go work while he takes a short nap.

Hopefully Bb will do well in his assignment and final exams! All the best~

Psst. Bb promised me to treat me watch Ice Age 3 as reward for my hard work. Hee.. Looking forward to it.

Bb is so sweet. After service, we made our way to his home. Tomorrow is going to be a long day because we need to complete his econs assignment together.

While waiting for train, Bb suddenly got so excited and wants me to hear something. So he took out his PSP and headset.

1st song is something like there’s a person that was so caring and loved the singer. The person was so good that it’s just like an angel that has stepped into the singer’s life.

2nd song was sung by Phua Chu Kang, I think is one of the songs in the musical. PCK sang this song to his wife.

When I’m listening to the songs, Bb mimic and as if he’s the one singing it.

I not sure why, I cried, in the train!

I was feeling very touched by Bb’s action. Although it’s only some simple songs, but can see that Bb meant from his heart. And I didn’t know that I really meant so much to him, and I also didn’t know that his life was so good when I stepped into his life.

These 2 years, there are many happy moments. And there are times that I also made Bb angry, worried, anxious, sad, etc etc. so many things has happened. To me, I know I can do more and his girlfriend. I could be more loving, more caring, more understanding, etc. I didn’t know I still meant so much to Bb all these while. I feel honored and humbled at the same time.

I’m thankful to have Bb in my life too~

so sad.. my dear Bb is sick.. he suddenly had high fever. he's resting now, hopefully he'll feel better soon

Today went Tiong Bahru have lunch.. after that when we are leaving, I received a MMS. I saw Bb in the lift at my office, wearing DHL Uniform.

Bb said, 'Bb dun need to be sad if u missed me during lunch. Just noe tat i love u n im willing to travel miles to send u my warmest love. U deserved it. Love, Bb... =)'

My heart melted... Bb is soooooo sweet... :)

I took a pic and send to Bb.. telling him I'm so sorry that i missed him during lunch time.. and telling him i feel so loved...